Klinkel Creek Mud

Klinkel creek mud

One of our first culinary trips into the magical world of Faeries, Goblins, Trolls and other supernatural creatures takes us to the enchanted glades and forests of “Blackspout Woods”. Not only is it home to one of the most well known waterfalls in Scotland, it is also the home of a large population of mud trolls, several tribes of Forest Goblins and it hides the throne of Faynae, Queen of Waterfalls.

One of the creeks that flows through Blackspout woods is the one called “Klinkel Creek”, also called “Clinkel Clinkel”by the local Goblins. It is named for the sound that the creek produces when the water flow is wild and rough, it is said to be caused by hollow rocks that can be found along the banks of the Klingel. The “Bruised finger tribe” goblins however stubbornly claim that the sounds are caused by tripping creatures, falling, sliding and bouncing of the rocks. The banks of the Clinkel are slick and tricky to walk upon, and some rocks have indeed hollow cavities. Maybe both stories are true, I presume that time will tell. 

Finding it hard to produce a dish or drink that actually reproduces the sound caused by the creek, I have chosen to pick another nice feature of this remarkable little water flow. The weird pinkish colored mud that can be found along the whole stretch of the creek. According to the trolls it is caused by the same rocks that give the creek its name. The “Bruised finger tribe” goblins (yes the same stubborn ones as the with the name) say it is caused by…..hmmmm… on second thought, let's not go there ;)  

I have decided to make a dip/sauce/spread that can be used for many things. As an extra to spice up dishes with its funky pink color and surprising flavor or as a stand alone star as a vedgie dip for example.

What do we need?

  • Boiled red beets. (you can use pre boiled from the supermarket or peel and boil yourself).
  • Mustard (I prefer the grindy/rough kinds but Dijon will do fine too and will give a smoother end result)
  • Mayonnaise (pre made is fine, look at my basic recipes for a simple variant to make yourself).
  • Lemon juice (if you use fresh lemons make sure the seeds don't fall into the mix).
  • Salt.
  • Pepper (all kinds are possible, but taste first! You don't want to overpower the end result).

Whats next? 

  1. Add the beets to a kitchen machine. Most of the time I use pre boiled from the store and these come in 3’s or 4’s. 
  2. Then add 5 to 6 big tablespoons of mayonnaise and 2 big tablespoons of mustard. 
  3. Add the juice of half a lemon.
  4. Add a little bit of salt and a bit of pepper.
  5. Now use the kitchen machine to chop and blend it into a nice smooth paste/sauce. Pause several times to use a spoon or other kitchen tool at hand to mix all parts together and then turn on the machine again.
  6. You are aiming for an end result that is bright pink and doesn't taste too much of mustard, beet, lemon or mayo but a nice blend of all 4. 
  7. The mayonnaise is the binder, depending on the size of the beets you may need to add more. You will see if so, the whole paste will remain a bit chunky and thick. Just add a few spoons to thin it. The more you use, the lighter the pink will become.
  8. The mustard is the extra flavor bomb in here. Be careful not to use too much unless you want it extra sharp! The mustard also makes sure the whole result binds nicely together.
  9. The same goes with the lemon. Don't use too much or it will become really sour. 
  10. After your first blend, just see and taste! Too thick? Add more mayo.Tastes too bland? Add a bit more mustard and salt and pepper.

And now?

If the mix has the right color and texture for you, you are done. You can easily store it for a week in the fridge, if you used self made mayonnaise make sure you check the date of the eggs! 

Extra tips:

  • Store it in a sauce bottles for easy use. 
  • You can save a few roughly cut pieces of boiled red beet and add it later to make a more rustic/rough version of it. To use as a spread for example.
  • Use Vegan Mayonnaise (some really good creamy ones out there) to veganise this easily.  

I think the creatures of Klinkel Creek would be proud of our version of their “Mud”. At least we created a nice end result that is very simple to make, yet will surprise a lot of people with it taste and color. Have fun brewing this up! 



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